Sometimes our students articulate their own needs best and most clearly. During one of my family counseling sessions at PS 46, a second grader, in counseling because she had been in fights, made an unexpected and endearing request for her mom to spend more time with her.
This little girl, just seven years old, clearly voiced the feelings of her fellow students. Our children are yearning for the chance to have one-on-one time with their family and caregivers, and to be reminded that even in the midst of chaos, their families’ love is still there waiting for them.
My experience with this little girl and her family gave me the idea to have a Family Fun Day for my eighteen families at PS 46– to give them all a chance to enjoy each others’ company in a new and neutral environment- neither home nor school.
On May 18, 2010, fourteen out of the total eighteen families showed up to have fun with their children. “Families” for the remaining four children were supplied by their siblings in the school and by volunteer staff.
And these families did have fun with each other. The families worked on 3-D puzzles together, played bingo, ate snacks, and shared warm feelings of friendship, and connectedness between each other. In fact, they enjoyed fellowship with each other.
As a final activity, the adults and children were taken to separate rooms where they created gifts to exchange with each other as part of a closing ceremony. The children drew pictures of what family meant to them and shared these with the adults. The adults created hope chests and bracelets to share with their children.
These hope chests were little boxes with the children’s names on them. Inside were inspirational notes from family members. In the notes, the adults shared their favorite memories of the children, shared their hopes for the children, gave advice to their children for getting through hard times, and shared their feelings of privilege of being in their children’s lives. They also made beaded bracelets with inspirational messages to share. The bracelets were intended to be something the children could always wear to remind them of the event and of their family’s love.
It was a brilliant sight to see the room packed to capacity with our families, to see our families warmly engaged with each another and smiling and playing with the children.
It was also beautiful to see the way the community supported the children whose parents/ caregivers weren’t able to join the group. . One 17 year old and his high school friends who came to support his second grade sister really made me smile. They made graffiti posters to put in the hope chest of a little boy whose mom wasn’t able to come. .
It was amazing to hear parents talk about how much fun they had had with the activities and to hear them commit to spending this kind of time together with their children more often.
And these celebrations all came about because this one second grader told us that she wanted and needed to spend more time with her mother. This second grader prompted us to create an event to help families bond with each other. Her voice made a huge difference in the lives of eighteen children and families.
At the end of the day, I was honored to share in this celebration of love, connectedness, fun, commitment, community, and FAMILY!
Zuleka Henderson LMSW
